


The Hug

by TWDObsessive



Series: Finally [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, M/M, Nonverbal Communication, POV Daryl, POV First Person, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 06:50:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8834608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/pseuds/TWDObsessive
Summary: Daryl and Rick hug at Hilltop after being separated.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Quick drabble I didn't even have beta'd. Just needed to write the hug.

Ain't never cared much ‘bout huggin’. No point to it. Ain't gonna put food in anybody’s bellies or clothes on anyone's back. Don't much like bein’ touched anyways. But I been alone for weeks, stuck in that fuckin’ box with nothin’ but the shittiest song I ever heard in my life and a… a picture.

Know I fucked up. Couldn't hold my temper when we was out there on our knees. When that psychopath started tauntin’ Rosita, I lost my shit. Don't matter why. Don’t matter if it was shit I seen countless times b’fore, shit from growin’ up. Ain't no excuses. Glenn is on me. He's dead because I couldn't control my anger. 

I was ready to die to stop that madness. _I_ was the target. _I_ was the one trying to kill Negan. _ME_! I deserved being takin’ and made into Negan’s prisoner… his slave. It was my due. Shit, worse should have happened- _I_ should have been killed. I murdered a man, my friend, who had a wife and an unborn child.

When I got to Hilltop with Jesus, Maggie wouldn't accept my apology. Wouldn't accept it cause she said she don't blame me for none of it so there ain’t nothin’ to be sorry for. I wanted her to be mad, to take a swing at me, to scream and cry at me. But alls she did was hug me and tell me she was so glad to get me back. Might a’ been one a’ the first hugs I ever got. Can't really think a’ any others. But knowin’ Maggie didn’t blame me only helped so much. I didn't need her to hate me to keep on hatin’ myself.

The worst part was waitin’ to see the others, to see Rick. I put him through hell makin’ all that shit worse when we was lined up out in them woods. Glenn... Glenn was probably Rick’s best friend and I may not have held the gun but I pulled the trigger. How could I look Rick in the eyes after what I done? I could barely look at him back in Alexandria when Negan took me there. I was blinkin’ like mad cause I wanted to see him but I didn’t want him to see me. Not with what I done. But it was my due- for a man I admired so much to watch me bow down and serve a man like Negan, takin’ my punishment quietly ‘cause I knew I deserved it. 

I got no anger in me no more ‘cause I learned the hard way. Anger gets people killed. That fucking bat... Seein’ Rick in Alexandria carryin’ it around for him? That empty, broken look in his eyes? He looked at me like he was beggin’ _me_ for forgiveness. I ain't got nothin’ to forgive. Rick’s always done right by all of us. He’s carried our weight on his shoulders since the beginning. 

When I walked around the corner at Hilltop and seen the rest of my family I felt like crumblin’. Worryin’ all that time that they was gonna cast me out for what I done, but when I seen them lookin’ at me with such relief, I knew it was gonna be okay. They wasn’t pinnin’ Glenn on me like I was doin’. I’ll always carry that guilt til I’m nothin’ but ashes. But the fact that they don’t, makes me feel warm for the first time in weeks- sun on my skin and family lookin’ at me like they ain’t never been happier to see me. Don’t even have no fresh kill or nothin’ to give them. ‘S just me. 

When Rick looks up and I see the love in his face, I ain’t sure I’m gonna be able to speak w’thout tearin’ up. He walked to me with purpose and I nodded my hello but couldn’t keep myself from startin’ to cry and Dixon’s cryin’ over shit that ain’t bleedin’ is unheard of. But I had so much I wanted to tell Rick. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was about what I done. How much I wished I could change places with Glenn, let him be the one comin’ back to Maggie and let me be the one buried in the cold, dark earth. Wanted to tell him how much I thought about him, how much I missed bein’ with him. He’s the only person I ever known to love me. Called me brother one time and when he said it I knew what it meant. It meant he loved me. I wanted to tell him I loved him too as I saw him walkin’ towards me and looking determined again instead of lost and helpless. But when I dipped my head, tears started comin’ and he wrapped me in his arms and hugged me, his hand tight to my neck and I ain’t never felt that right in my whole life. 

And I know right then I ain’t never gonna let him down again. Gonna be stronger, smarter. Ain’t gonna let myself get taunted no more. This ain’t no time for breakin’ down. This is a time for risin’ up. This is a time for us to be together again and to be strong and to take care of one another. And Negan walkin’ this earth is a threat to that. I ain’t never gonna let Rick down again. I owe him. I owe him for things he don’t even know he done. 

I held him as tight as he was holdin’ me and I knew I wasn’t gonna have to say nothin’. He knew. He knew that I blamed myself. He knew I was sorry. He knew bein’ back with him gave me the strength I thought I lost at the Sanctuary. Me and Rick never did need to waste words on each other. I know him and he knows me. 

When we finally parted I knew I’d need more of him. I wasn’t done. I had lots more to say and excruciatingly few words to say them with. But if I could hold him again like that, maybe I could make him understand what I’m still not quite sure of myself.

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing special! Just needed to get that canon hug in a fic!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Hug reloaded](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8841481) by [legolastariel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel)




End file.
